imagine if tumblr text posts were written like how youtubers talk
hey guys, why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side!
haha folks that was a great joke. could i get a like and a reblog for that cracking punchline? make sure to hit that follow button if you want to see more about what that wild chicken gets up to!
speaking about chicken, last weeks chicken casserole from blue apron came out DELICIOUS. blue apron is a site that will send packages with ingredients straight to your doorstep so YOU can learn how to cook with easily understandable instructions - and it’s delicious too! Use blueapron.com/pochowek for a discount! see you at blue apron!
“Roger’s favourite game is crushing his feed bucket! Roger is our alpha male kangaroo, he is 10 years old, height 6ft 7, weight 200 pounds and 100% muscle. I raised him from a tiny orphan baby kangaroo.”
Mermaids with hair over their eyes are usually from deeper waters. The sea floor has almost no light, so deep sea mermaids (few of which have functional eyes) visiting the surface would be blinded by the sun.
To mermaids, covering their eyes with hair is similar to sunglasses.
Deep sea mermaids are also shy, accustomed to dark waters for hiding their monstrous appearances.
Freshwater Mermaid: Howdy y'all, I’d like you to meet my cousin. She’s a little shy :) 30ft Tall Deep Sea Mermaid with hair so long it turns the water black: ᴴᵉʷʷᵒ
okay, I know those things are super silly but I reblogged it yesterday and the tough deadline I’ve had for tomorrow not only got postponed today but then changed to “well, do that at some point in the future”.
So it’s probably a total coincidence but… it didn’t hurt to try
What the actual fuck
So as you can see, I reblogged this post again two days ago to say about what had happened. And yesterday, I got a message that another thing I’ve wished for for a long time might actually happen.
headcanon: since meeting ant man, no one dares to fuck with spider man cause they think he can control spiders and fuck that tbh. he defeats villains by threatening to order spiders to infest their house,, his success rate is 100%, new york is crime-free in less than a month,
antman:
villain: what you gonna do huh? steal my picnic food? lmao lemme get the magnifying glass
spiderman:
villain:
villain: ill just turn myself in,
Um actually,
it was bold of me to assume he wouldnt actually do this in canon,
I love animals that are, like, the opposite of cryptids: we know for a fact they exist and have a clear idea of what they look like because we have photographs and individual specimens, but we haven’t the faintest idea where they’re coming from - they just keep showing up out of nowhere, and the locations of their actual population centres are a complete mystery.
I so want examples. anyone who knows of any should post them in notes
You know, like giant squid and such. We know the bastards exist, we have credible first-hand accounts stretching back thousands of years and dead specimens washed up on shore and such, but in centuries of searching we’ve managed exactly one well-documented encounter with a giant squid in its natural habitat. We have no idea what their native range is or what their life-cycle looks like, let alone how many of them are out there.
Are there any reverse-cryptids that /aren’t/ at the bottom of the ocean?
The red-crested tree rat, for one. There have been only three well-documented encounters since 1898, and they just plain disappeared from the zoological record for over a century. The only reason we know they’re not extinct is that one walked right up to a couple of wildlife research interns at a Columbian nature reserve back in 2011, apparently out of pure curiosity, and allowed itself to be photographed and observed for several minutes before disappearing again.
That’s genuinely pretty cool and all, but I absolutely need to talk about how the picture in that Wikipedia article looks like a tiny eldritch horror disguising itself as a peach.
To be fair, based on the actual photos from the 2011 encounter, they really do look like that:
